Material Madness
by Toumeikage
Summary: Just an idea. Nanoha, Fate and Hayate take an "off the books" vacation! How? Well they just called in the Materials of course! Madness all over as Fate comes up with an elaborate plan, Stern and co attempt to pass themselves off as the three Aces, and Nanoha goes crazy! Rated T cause deep down I'm paranoid and we all know it!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I'm back! And with more and more sleepless nights, I decided to write some more!

**Warning: **Written at random in the middle of the night, contains large amounts of insanity, slight spoilers, ooc

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Nanoha franchise...and thank goodness for that, I'd abuse Starlight Breaker if I did…

* * *

It was just like any other normal day in Mid-Childa, the birds were singing, the sky was clear, and large energy beams were fired from the sky burning all that stood below.

The one who fired said beams stood in the sky, suspended only by small energy wings on her shoes, as the smoke around her cleared revealing who she was.

There stood Nanoha in all her glory. With a stoic expression devoid of emotion she spoke with only a hint of irritation in her voice.

"Subaru-san, I have told you countless times…" her tone became pleasant and polite, almost casual. Like a mother scolding her child her voice was soft, "I am not Takamachi Nanoha…"

Lowering herself to the ground, she pointed her device at the fallen blue-haired girl and simply said "…I am Stern. Stern the Destructor, please do not make that mistake again."

Teana Lanster suddenly rushed towards her unconscious friend's side, grabbing her while simultaneously using Cross Mirage to create illusions to mislead their enemy.

Stern could only look on towards the many copies with uninterested eyes and sigh in her head as she wondered just exactly how they managed to get to this point.

* * *

**Yesterday Morning…**

It all started in Midori-ya, Stern and Nanoha were chatting about trivial things. Sitting parallel to one another they seemed like mirror opposites, with twenty-four year old Nanoha happily going full force at her parfait and physically nine year old, real age unknown, Stern lazily stirring her cup of coffee.

"As the Material of Wisdom, I regret to say that this coffee is terrible" Stern continued to lazily stir her coffee while taking sips every few moments. Her uncaring facade however was just a front that hid the deep philosophical thoughts going on in her mind, '_seriously how can a person screw up black coffee?_'

"Um…it was probably Miyuki onee-chan…", still happily digging at her parfait Nanoha answered bluntly. "She usually isn't allowed to cook, but when she does…"

"HEY! I take offense to that!" the person in question Miyuki Takamachi walked towards them wearing an apron and carrying a jug coffee. "Would you like some more coffee-"

**SLAM!**

The entrance to Midori-ya was violently shoved open. The door couldn't take the pressure and snapped off its hinges, falling to the ground as a golden haired girl ran in at what would seem like sonic speeds. Nanoha's girlfriend Fate Testarossa Harlaown had entered Midori-ya.

"Na…no…ha!" gasping for breath she grabbed on to a table thinking it was Nanoha and managed to calm down.

"Fate-chan!?" Nanoha was utterly caught off guard by the fact her girlfriend was there, the last time she saw Fate, the Enforcer was sprawled out on their mattress, asleep, and all the way back on Mid-Childa!

"Midori-ya!" Miyuki too was shocked, mainly at the damage done to the entrance during her shift. '_This is so going to come out of my salary!_'

Fate had caught her breath and now noticed Nanoha's panicked gaze. She then promptly began to explain just what was so dire that she had to travel across worlds to tell her girlfriend.

"Nanoha, while I was asleep I came to realize something important" Fate looked over to the girl sitting parallel to Nanoha, with a serious expression. "And it involves Stern too…"

"How many times must I tell you? I am not Nano-…ha? I'm sorry, but could you please repeat that once more?" Stern became speechless, and exchanged questioned looks with her original.

"It involves you too Stern" Fate repeated just as seriously. Turning towards Nanoha her voice was low and professional. "Nanoha, your extended leave from the TSAB ends today. You have to return to Mid-Childa tomorrow right?"

"Y-Yes is there a problem Fate-chan?" Nanoha had never seen Fate as serious as she was now.

"While asleep it came to me in a dream…" Fate stated, "I came to realize that Stern isn't Nanoha"

"Is that all?" Stern couldn't help but interject. '_Two major incidents involving the Materials, multiple attempts at convincing Fate otherwise, even more explanations of how I couldn't possibly be Takamachi Nanoha, and she's finally convinced by a dream!?_'

"I'll get straight to the point" Fate was now completely business-like, "Nanoha, if we have Stern and Levi go back to TSAB in our place, then we could take a private "off the books" vacation on Earth without anyone missing us. All while Vivio is taken care of by Hayate back on Mid! We could do so many perverted things together with no one else knowing!"

As if on cue Nanoha somehow managed to face-palm, face-table, and face-wall at the same time. Turning towards a blushing Miyuki she asked "Did I really just hear what I heard?" and after seeing Miyuki nod she decided to repeat the process once again.

"I apologize for interrupting your fantasy, but I'd like to point out a major flaw within your insane plan" Stern suddenly brought everyone back to reality. Even Fate was partially paying attention. "I look nothing like Nanoha, nor do I act anything like her. No one will ever buy such an act when you compare an eternally nine year old body like mine to a bombshell babe like her."

"That's right Fate-chan, no one will believe that Stern and I are the same person! Wait what?" She silently cursed herself for thinking thoughts like, '_well other than you I mean_' and '_damn right I have a nice body_'. She bit her tongue just in case.

"Well other than Fate-san, of course" and it turned out to be completely useless, because there was someone who had similar thoughts, but less restraint, stirring her coffee right across from her.

"Don't worry, I already told Shari to have our teleporter look faulty then explode after sending them to the ship. That way it'll look like we got affected during the jump and de-aged, changing our appearances!" Fate was no longer listening to reason.

"Fate-chan we can't execute such an insanely elaborate plan on a whim." Nanoha tried to save her friend's sanity. "Such a plan will never be used, the Materials are their own individuals. Levi and Stern have their own lives with Yuri-chan. They deserve better than to be called on by us for something so-"

**CRASH!**

A short haired brunette suddenly fell from the skies and violently came crashing in through the window. Hitting the floor the girl continued rolling until she stopped directly underneath Miyuki's skirt and lay down facing upward.

"WHY THE HELL CAN'T ANY OF YOU COME IN NORMALLY!?" Miyuki was now having trouble at keeping both her anger and her swords from suddenly coming out and cutting everything up. Any further damage to the café would only cause more trouble for her.

"Ah, how mean. That airplane was the one who clipped me off first!" saying that in a teasing manner, with an unmistakable Kansai accent she smiled. "Still I would've never expected you to wear those kinds of panties…"

"Oh it's just Hayate huh?" Miyuki said trying to suppress a blush. She was already too used to the brunette's frequent antics.

Yagami Hayate got up and brushed the dirt off her clothes. "Even though I had something important to tell Nanoha~"

"It wouldn't by any chance be related to a dream would it?" Stern just stopped caring.

"Huh? What do you mean? I have dreams, like going to Comiket tomorrow, making lots of cosplay, but they're all impossible because of work."

"That's what I mean! Nanoha take a look at Hayate, with my plan we can do whatever we want!" the person known as Fate Testarossa Harlaown was never one keen on giving up.

"Plan? What plan?" Hayate wasn't about to be left out of something potentially fun. "As your superior in the TSAB I order you to tell me of this plan."

After a lengthily explanation and two cups of bad coffee later, Hayate understood the basic situation and why Fate was suddenly missing from her apartment this morning. Hayate then took a serious look at Fate.

"Fate-chan…" Hayate spoke loudly and clearly. "You're an absolute genius! Why didn't I ever think of that!? This means that so long as I can convince the King to fill in for me I can go to Comiket!"

"By the way, Hayate-chan, what was the reason that you came here?" Nanoha asked while playing with her spoon. "It seems like you had something urgent to tell me."

"Oh right! I almost forgot. The entire reason why I rushed over here without a second thought was because if I didn't tell you you'd probably kill me." Hayate said matter-of-factly. "Thing is, Vivio and Einheart are planning to go out on a date dubbed "training session". Just the two of them tomorrow morning."

"Training session you say? Just the two of them? Nya…ha…ha…ha…" Nanoha's face suddenly took on a dark look as she snapped her spoon in half. "Ha ha…I see" flashing a sadistic smile she then said "don't worry Vivio, Nanoha-mama's going to protect you….it'll just hurt a bit so bear with it…"

"W-W-Wait, Nanoha don't do anything rash!" Fate searched desperately for an excuse, anything to prevent the end of the world. "As members of the Time Space Administration Bureau we need to get back to work. We can't just suddenly not show up…"

"Ah, but Fate-chan did you forget about your own plan? With that we could slip away from work for a day or two, right?" Nanoha eyed Stern and her coffee darkly…then smiled. "But only with Stern-chan's consent of course."

"…The most logical course of action at this time would be to be to give in and follow your requests…" Stern lifted her head and looked away from her coffee and at Nanoha. "However I oppose the thought of leaving Yuri alone by herself"

"Ah no worries!" Hayate joined into the fray. "Me and my Knights are going to Comiket, I'll bring Yuri-chan along with me! This year I'll finally be able to make a perfect cosplay of Lilith-chan!"

"Then I do not mind being your substitute for a day. Nanoha-san, you are free to command me as you please"

"Alright! Now that everything's settled I can go and Starlight Break-…I erm mean have a little talk with Einheart-san"

"No choice then. Now that she's like this there's no stopping her. I'll have to postpone my plans of getting a room with Nanoha and instead try and prevent any unnecessary casualties." Fate said solemnly.

The four stood up and then promptly left the café. Off to do whatever they planned to do.

"Um…Nanoha? Fate? Hayate? Coffee person? What exactly am I supposed to do about the café?" Miyuki looked around, the door was still broken off its hinges, the window was completely shattered, and there were glass and feathers all over the floor.

Pondering over it for a second, Miyuki decided on the most reasonable course of action. '_This never happened._' She grabbed the bills that the Nanoha-lookalike left under her coffee cup and promptly made a run for it.

* * *

**A/N: **Firstly, to anyone who enjoyed this, you just made my day. To anyone who didn't enjoy this...um...yea sorry about that...?  
I mainly started writing this because the idea just came to me and stopped me from sleeping for a while...I just decided to post this now, so not even I really know what the heck I was doing. Luckily I have some idea for what will happen next! Hopefully I'll continue this, but that might take a while...until then, I'll be working on other fics. See ya!

If you like it? review If you don't? criticize, I always appreciate any feedback to improve my writing in the future


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **It's been a while! With a string of coincidences and large amounts of insanity I managed to actually update! If anyone's actually waited for this to come out and managed the patience I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Nanoha franchise...if I did their update speed would be terrible.

* * *

**The next day…**

Stern and Levi both did as they were told, no questions asked. They teleported up to the transport ship, and right afterwards their teleport pads exploded in a fantastic fashion. Despite the staged explosion being rather large, little to no damage was actually caused. Now they only had to get the TSAB to believe that they were who they claimed to be.

"W-What's going on!?" former officer, currently captain, Allex was expecting to see Nanoha and Fate again. He happened to be just a bit more than surprised at what came out of the teleporter.

Stern turned to face Levi and gave her a look that said, '_keep quiet, and I'll do the talking_' despite not actually using her telepathy. Levi nodded in agreement afraid to oppose Stern.

"Ah, Allex-san it has been a while." Stern was fully intent on exploiting the mandatory nametags on the uniforms. "It is a pleasure to meet with you once again."

"W-W-Who are you!?" Allex backed away and was rather shocked at seeing what looked like Nanoha and Fate at the age of nine with minor color alterations.

"Hm?" Stern looked around and pretended to be surprised. How she managed to look surprised with a dull look on her face is still a mystery. "I see, something must have gone wrong during the transition from Earth to this ship. It seems that Fate-chan and I have switched bodies with our Material counterparts."

"Material counterparts? What are you talking about? Explain yourselves, please…" Be it as it may, Allex was still the newly appointed captain of this ship. He had to make sure.

"The Materials are in essence, what one might call dark counterparts to me, Fate-chan, and Hayate-chan." Stern was improvising with a straight face when she came up with her next course of action. "The incident took place right after the Book of Darkness case and only few people knew of what actually occurred."

"…I see so what exactly happened to you?" Allex while still skeptical couldn't argue with the fact that he had seen Nanoha back when she was only nine, and that this face was almost completely identical. He just couldn't believe how such an emotionless and blank expression could be on the bright and hopeful Nanoha's face.

"On occasion we the originals, connect with the Materials mentally due to our shared genetic information and magic. I believe that when the teleporter failed it may have tampered with our connection and resulted in a body switch." Now all Stern had to do was make sure of the timing.

"I see, so this means that you're Nanoha, but you're now in your counterpart's body? Then that body belongs to…" Allex gestured towards what he thought might've been Nanoha.

"Yes, I am now in the body of my wiser, calmer, and more peaceful counterpart, Material-S, also known as Stern the Destructor. I believe it should wear off in about one to two days time…" This was her chance! "However, to avoid any further confusion please refer to me as such and call me Stern instead of Nanoha. Considering that I am now in possession of her body, I wish to respect that and be identified as such."

"Uh…okay? But mind if I ask, why are you talking like that? Nano-…er Stern, your expression hasn't changed despite all that has happened?"

"From what I understand, the Material of Wisdom lacks the ability to change her facial expression. It also seems that everything I say or do will take on her traits, quite possibly due to our connection with one another."

"…I see…" Allex usually wouldn't buy into any of that, but this girl claiming to be Nanoha not only looked remarkably similar, but the fact that her face stayed the same throughout the entire conversation unnerved him to no end.

He was still extremely skeptical about believing who the two claimed to be, but he just wanted to get away from those deep emotionless eyes. So he searched for an excuse to look away and turned towards what he thought looked like a nine year old Fate with aqua blue hair. She was extremely quiet just like Fate normally was, but seemed to be fidgeting. He thought it looked suspicious. "So, Fate…you've also switched bodies with your Material counterpart as well?"

"What are you talking about? I am a Mater-!"

Stern suddenly embraced Levi and passionately kissed her to prevent Levi from blowing their cover. Right afterwards she shot a look at Levi that said '_I will punish you later, however for the time being please refrain from any further unnecessary actions_' Levi was extremely unnerved at how Stern could keep doing that without using telepathy.

Ignoring the blushing Allex, and staff members in the back, Stern went on to explain. "Yes, Fate-chan has sadly switched places with her counterpart Levi the Slasher. She seems to have adopted Levi's trait of spouting nonsense at certain points in time as well."

Looking at her blank eyes, Allex then came to a conclusion. '_Scary eyes, randomly kissing Fate for no reason, threatening aura bordering on killing intent directed at Fate…No matter how you look at it, that's definitely Nanoha!'_ "Alright I'll believe your story…Stern…"

"Thank you very much" Stern bowed and suppressed a grin. '_Infiltration successful, more importantly there's now a legitimate reason to call me Stern despite pretending to be Nanoha!_'

The rest of the ride to Mid-Childa was quiet and surprisingly quick. The new technology made travel considerably faster through the usage of some kind of hyper drive technology. Stern wasn't complaining though, she proceeded to bow at Allex and get off with Levi only to find four TSAB mages awaiting them holding up a sign that said "WELCOME BACK!"

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

"C'mon Fate-chan~ geh I thought you loved me!" Nanoha was struggling heavily under several Lightning Binds. "Just one quick Divine Buster, Einheart-chan won't even know what hit her!"

After stalking or "being a concerned parent" as Nanoha put it, Vivio and Einheart's "training session" for a good hour, the two younger girls decided to take a break and buy ice cream. Einheart, however had unknowingly made a fatal mistake in dropping her ice cream. Being the good child that she was, Vivio decided to share her ice cream with her friend.

"Um...Nanoha, won't that be because, Einheart will be unconscious by then?" Fate continued to pour more magic into her binds while making new ones to compensate for the ones that were being broken. _'She's not even in her barrier jacket and she's still breaking my binds!'_

"Naive Fate-chan..." Nanoha's face took on a dark look, her lips curved upward in a smirk, as her eyes became distant and merciless. It was something that Fate could only describe as somewhat like that purest form of evil and sadistic joy. "...Making my daughter pay for her own ice cream on their date and then eating it herself...when I get through with her she'll be wishing she were unconscious..."

Fate could only watch in horror as Nanoha snapped another eight binds apart with pure physical strength alone. Deciding that it would be impossible to hold Nanoha at bay any further, Fate decided to take a gamble to save her daughter's potential love interest.

For a split second Fate lowered the concentration she had on her binds by just a bit. Paying no heed to the twelve binds that Nanoha broke in that instant, she stepped forward and immediately yelled "Overdrive! Shin Sonic Form!"

"Wha-!? " At those words Nanoha immediately knew what Fate's plan was and furiously tried to get the rest of the binds off of herself before Fate could succeed. In the end it was a futile endeavor.

Using all her forward momentum, Fate tackled Nanoha and wrapped her arms around her best friend as tightly as possible. In the next instant they were gone, with Fate pouring as much physical, mental, and magical energy possible into flying away from there. '_You owe me one for this Einheart!_'

Nanoha continued to struggle against Fate's grasp, they we're already flying above miles of ocean. "Geh! It'll take more than that Fate-chan! I'll be back Vivio!" Nanoha could only yell as they both crossed beyond the horizon.

All the while, Einheart and Vivio finished their ice cream and went back to sparring, unknowing of the events that transpired.

* * *

**A/N: **I want to apologize in advance, but with classes in my way, my update speed will only continue to decrease. All in all I really do want to thank anyone who's reviewed, followed, or just read this story. I hope I can inspire others to write more about the Materials, so until next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I've finally revived! Well long enough to write this chapter, seriously classes kill. With the stress of exams being around the corner, I made the only logical choice, aka ditching work in favor of fiction!

**Disclaimer: **We all know I don't own the Nanoha franchise, if I did then there'd already be a spin-off series called "Ma Hou Shoujo Stern the Destructor"

* * *

**...**

Stern watched indifferently as the four TSAB mages in front of her seemed to react in varying ways. The boy and girl were both eyeing her in curiosity and caution, the one with blue hair seemed confused, but the one with orange hair was the most vocal in her response.

"What!? Who are you? What happened to Nanoha?" The girl looked as if she was about to shoot off more questions when the blue haired one cut her off.

"What are you talking about Tea? Isn't that Nanoha?"

"Idiot! Look at her, what part of her looks like Nanoha-san!?"

"I think the better question is "what part of her doesn't look like Nanoha-san?"

Stern was the Material of Wisdom, but at that moment she felt like changing her title to the Material of War, for the sake of self preservation from her original she decided to endure.

The orange haired girl called "Tea" and the blue haired girl continued talking.

"Subaru, I know that you're a ditz most of the time, but you should really notice the difference!"

"But Tea-! Wait now that you mentioned it..." Subaru glanced at Stern as realization dawned on her. Finally realizing what Teana was talking about, she asked the inevitable question. "Hey Nanoha-san, did you cut your hair?"

"..."

A large energy beam was fired.

* * *

**At that same moment...**

"Gyaa! We've lost track of her!" the Iron Knight Vita, was in a panic. "Hayate! We've lost track of Yuri and there's too many people to reach her by telepathy!"

"Huh? Oh dear, this might be a bit of an issue..." Hayate closed her eyes and pondered on the issue for a second. A shy and timid girl with more than enough power to destroy a world or three without stopping was now on the loose. _'Darn, we can't just loose the star of my cosplay!'_

"...okay we'll stay together and search for her."

"But mistress, would it not be wiser to utilize our numbers and split up to search?" the leader of the knights Signum addressed such an action with concern. _'This is my only chance. No doubt they will eventually find the girl, but if we split up then I can escape this wretched place unnoticed.'_

"Hm...that would "seem" like a good idea, but ya know we're currently in Comiket, if we split up, the rest of us could get lost too..." _'And ruin my chances of winning for the best group this year!' "_So we'll have to stick together and find her. Besides, I have a fairly good idea on how to find her."

"I see..." The Knight of the Sword felt her hopes utterly crushed. "So how will we find her?"

"Easy, her name's "Yuri" so it'd only be logical to start from the doujin circles that draw such material!"

The great feared force of the Wolkenritter, minus Zafira who was watching house, at that moment had all resisted the urge to facepalm.

* * *

**Back to the main issue...**

A large energy beam discharged from the prongs of the purple and red staff. The building had been completely decimated, but luckily all the mages were used to dodging surprise energy beams, everyone was unscratched and in their barrier jackets.

"See, Tea it's definitely Nanoha!"

Another energy beam was fired.

Teana rolled to the side Cross Mirage at the ready. "Urgh...attacking us like that, who are you!? Eh, what happened to Erio and Caro?"

_'Crap, I blew my cover...how can I salvage the situation?' _thinking about the situation, Stern suddenly came to a fearful realization. _'Where's Levi!?'_

* * *

**Above the skies of Mid Childa**

"Phew...when Stern gets like that it's better to just run away. I'm so glad that my original was so obsessed with speed." Levi continued to run away when she noticed something was chasing her.

"Um...Excuse me er...Fate-san's lookalike!" Caro and Erio were in pursuit on Freed. "Could you please slow down?"

"Ooh? You two wanna play tag huh?" Levi changed to sprite form and increased her speed. "Well, catch me if you can!"

* * *

**Once more, back to the main issue...**

The three were at a standstill, Stern was trying to calculate her next course of action while Teana was trying to figure out who this mysterious person was, Subaru no doubt was confused.

"So...who are you?" Teana kept a close eye on the attacker, attempting to anticipate her movements.

"You have excellent eyes..." Stern gave up. _'At this point with a character that uses common sense around it would be impossible to continue with this tragic joke of a disguise' _

"However, your security is lackluster in comparison. The TSAB is much too susceptible to infiltration and otherwise invasion this way." Stern decided to just amuse herself.

"I asked who you are...so answer me." Teana gripped Cross Mirage tighter, ready to fire at a moment's notice.

"Eh? but isn't she Nanoha?" Subaru became confused.

"No I am not." Stern's voice took on slight irritation at that statement. "My name is Stern, I have come today at the request of Takamachi Nanoha to be your substitute instructor."

"Oh and how can we believe you? Why are your looks and magic so similar Nanoha-san? And moreover why would she not be here? Suspicious"

"Justifiable. Those questions are indeed reasonable." _'But why did she not ask of me firing a spell mid-conversation? Is this normal for her?' _"I am a program of the Book of the Purple Sky, due to certain circumstances in the past I have taken a form similar to that of Takamachi Nanoha."

"A program? You mean like Signum?"

"Oh? So you know of the Book of the Night Sky? This will simplify matters. In short, yes I am similar to those of the Wolkenritter, however we the materials had no individual forms and therefore took on those of the ones you are familiar with."

"I can see that so that Fate lookalike was also one of you, but it still doesn't answer my question. Why isn't Nanoha here?"

"Her daughter is going out with a girl named Einheart so she decided to take an extended leave of absence. I presume that if you know this much, then this should be enough to answer your question."

"Wait what!? So you're telling me that Nanoha-san's trying to kill Einheart and Fate's trying to stop her?"

"If only, with the sheer amount of bloodlust I felt, I doubt even the most absolute of destinies would manage to stop her."

"Then what about our long awaited reunion training session!?"

"Please be at ease, I will do my utmost to provide you with adequate training."

"That's what I'm worried about! Besides, what can you teach us that Nanoha-san hasn't?"

"Simple. I am known as the Material of Wisdom for a reason. I have also fought with my original countless times." Stern continued to look bored. "I believe I will be able to provide adequate training."

At that moment, Subaru asked the inevitable question. "Wait so is she Nanoha-san?"

Stern's eyes took on a devilish glint as the corners of her mouth had risen ever so slightly. Teana had been all but too reminded of their actual instructor.

"...Yes I most definitely believe that I will be able to provide the most adequate of training...against the sensation known as pain..."

* * *

**Present...**

"Subaru-san, I have told you countless times. I am not Takamachi Nanoha. I am Stern. Stern the Destructor, please do not make that mistake again."

* * *

**A/N:** And thus the ridiculously long flashback ends. Why was it ridiculously long? Find out next chapter!

If you like it? review If you don't? criticize, I always appreciate any feedback to improve my writing in the future


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